No Boundaries

Freedom is not because of rights, but because of love.

2010-12-14T12:31:00.000-08:00

"I understand Jesus' love, but God is another story. I don't find them to be alike at all."
"You haven't enjoyed your time with Papa?" she asked surprised.
"No, I love Papa, whoever she is. She's amazing, but she's not like the God I've known."
"Maybe your understanding of God is wrong."
"Maybe. I just don't see how God loved Missy perfectly."
"So the judgement continues?" she said with a sadness in her voice.
That made Mack pause, but only for a moment. "What am I suppose to think? I just don't understand how God could love Missy and let her go through that horror. She was innocent. She didn't do anything to deserve that."
"I know"
Mack continued on, "Did God use her to punish me for what I did to my father? That isn't fair. She didn't deserve this. Nan didn't deserve this." Tears streamed down his face. "I might have, but they didn't."
"Is that who your God is, Mackenzie? It is no wonder you are drowning in your sorrow. Papa isn't like that, Mackenzie. She's not punishing you, or Missy, or Nan. This was not his doing."
"But he didn't stop it."
"No, he didn't. He doesn't stop a lot of things that cause him pain. Your world is severely broken. You demanded your independence, and now you are angry with the one who loved you enough to give it to you. Nothing is as it should be, as Papa desires it to be, and as it will be one day. Right now your world is lost in darkness and chaos, and horrible things happen to those that he is especially fond of."
"Then why doesn't he do something about it?"
"He already has..."
"You mean what Jesus did?"
"Haven't you seen the wounds on Papa too?"

The Shack

*On another note, something Soo Inn mentioned on Sunday, God wants to be found, more than we want to find Him.

Hey hey you you, i like you so much girlfriend

2010-08-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

Geraldine's birthday

To Gardens @ Curve

Jia yeen doing what she does best, posing for the camera :)

Turkey and Pineapple Sandwich

Butter ginger dory fish

Garden fish & chips

Then to Laundry

Wine cooler and Mojito. Well, more like Darlie toothpaste..

The birthday girl

We love you :)

Letting go

2010-08-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not not cut myself off, it's the realization that I don't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Author unknown
From IN THE COMPANY OF FRIENDS

Lame humour

2010-08-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

Where can you find nice smelling shit?

Answer: Dang Wangi (a.k.a dung wangi)

hahahahaha... not funny ah?

This day

2010-08-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

I first heard this song on Saturday at the Maks. It's such a beautiful song, that thought of sharing it. The song speaks of how two hearts come together as one, as they love each other, and love God. It's so beautiful when a couple views God as the centre of their relationship and marriage, that it holds them together and blesses God. Well, the lyrics speaks it all. A beautiful song, paired with a beautiful voice singing it :)

This day two lives become one
This day a new journey has begun
Our hearts full of lasting love
Brought together by the hand above

To share a life that draws us closer
To the one that we live for

And I will give you my heart
And all of who I am
And I will give more than vows
And words could ever say

Yes I'll give you my all on this day
On this day

On the cross his love was shown
And this love will build our home
Standing now in front of you
We profess a love we know is true

To share a life that draws us closer
To the one that we live for

And I will give you my heart
And all of who I am
And I will give more than vows
And words could ever say

Yes I'll give you my all on this day
And I'll give you my all on this day

On this day, on this day

This day
Jadon Lavik

The beautiful voice: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=453553600375

Who am I

2010-07-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Over time You'�ve healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come
Your light could still shine through
And though at times it�s just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
Well, I am grateful that you shine your light on me at all

Who am I that You would love me so gently
Who am I that You would recognize my name
Lord, who am I that You would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I?

Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
And the more I sing that sweet old song the more I understand
That I do not comprehend this love that�s coming from Your hand

Grace, grace, God�s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace, God�s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin

Who am I that You would love me so gently
Who am I that You would recognize my name
Lord, who am I that You would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I.

Who am I
Watermark

Sometimes it's great having songs that can put my thoughts into words. :)

Never ask designers.

2010-07-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...
...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
...
From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, That is shocking news. Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster yeah ok thanks.

I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, I never said I don't like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon, Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon, I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.
...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit.
Thanks Shan.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

...
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Go away

2010-07-14T03:02:00.000-07:00

Just when i'm starting to forget (or at least i think i am), you have to appear again. Why. Why?? WHY!? Why do you have to be everywhere. -_- Go away please. Before i flatten you into a ban chang kuih and
EAT YOU.

...

Trading silver for gold?

2010-07-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's true that many good things come with a price to pay.
That with every pro, there's a con. With every good thing, a price.
That we can't always get what we want.
But.
I was so caught up counting the price i had to pay, i forgot that what i was getting was worth much more than the price i needed to pay for it. Maybe trading silver for gold is worth it...
Thank you for hanging on, when all i wanted was to give up. :)

Who do you love?

2010-07-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Here we are
You tell me I'm the only one
Who makes you feel love again
There you go
I see you watching him
When you don't think I know
Should I let you go?

So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?

Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wasting all my time

Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playing with my heart
You're tearing me apart

Am I the one
who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher
than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?
Who do you love?

Turn around
Do you really think you could
You'll play me like a fool
For you
Then I realize
When you touch me it's like nothing I have known
Could I let you go

So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?

Who do you love
Moffats

Food addict

2010-06-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

I believe when i go broke one day (almost there), it's from eating.
I blame the FOOD.

Chances

2010-05-11T00:12:00.000-07:00

Chances are when said and done

Who'll be the lucky ones

Who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever
No matter how it feels today

Chances are we´ll find a new equation
Chances roll away from me
Chances are all they hope to be

Don't get me wrong I'd never say never
Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you

I´m just a realistic man
A bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I see us through yeah

Chances are we´ll find two destinations
Chances roll away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
The possibilities
Over me
Eight to five, two to one
Lay your money on the sun
until you crash what have you done?
Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you breathe
You gotta cry before you sing

Chances chances

Chances lost are hopes torn up pages
Maybe this time
Chances are we´ll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken
And I can see
Chances are the fascination
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them
And all I need

Chances
Five for fighting

Thanks for the song! :)

It doesn't matter.

2010-05-09T14:54:00.000-07:00

You know what? You were right. I was so sure. Now, i'm not. Maybe this isn't what i wanted.
Thank you for helping me see that.

Let it be. Let me be.

2010-05-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

I just want to lie on the ground as long as it takes. Not hearing anything, seeing anything, knowing anything, thinking anything, doing anything. Just listening to the silence. Don't tell me anything.

I love you too

2010-04-28T02:03:00.000-07:00

Because when the oceans rise, you keep my head above the water.
Thank you.

Snore

2010-04-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

Oh no... It's 12am. I hate it when it's time to sleep again, and in the morning when i wake up. It's hard falling asleep nowadays, and going back to sleep after i ter-wake. Therefore, i am sleep deprived. Insomnia.

Unproductive during the day and terribly tired.

I wish my brain will stop functioning.

Updates

2010-04-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

I just finished my Internal exams yesterday and having two days of holidays. Me is happy :)

The shooting ended two Fridays ago. It's a project done by UTAR's broadcasting students, a short production called Law by law, right or wrong (somewhat like the breakfast show). I was fortunate to have a chance to be a part of it. Here are some photos from the shoot.

In hair and makeup

David needed his eyebrows fixed

Final touch ups on set

The shooting

The rest of the cast Kit Leong, David and Calvin

With cast and crew

Alice, Cerenna and Kelly

The bbq after-party

In 3, 2, 1... bomb

2010-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Current state of life: self-destructing.

As someone quotes, I'm not shattered until I look into the mirror.

When God made you

2010-04-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.

The reading room

2010-04-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

A widower opened a reading room in the wishes of his late wife, a place where people can learn to read. He was a rich businessman, and did not understand why his wife wanted that. Yet, he did it in order to fulfill her wish, and also thought it may make a difference to the community. The reading room was opened in Oakland, a community of poor people and gang bangers. Yet, he chose for it to be there, in the midst of the resentful, hopeless-feeling people.

He taught children to read, and had a vending machine giving out free sodas. He faced many difficulties. People were accusing him of his good will and didn't believe that his reading room will last in their community, thrashing his shop and stealing the computers inside. Yet, he chose to make the robber a security guard for his reading room, as an exchange of dropping charges against the robber. That robber was involved in a gang, and thought of the job as being a slave to the widower, but yet he chose to do the job because he knew it gave him hope, than being in a gang that offered him nothing.

A young student was studying for his SAT in hopes of getting a scholarship into college. His father sells tyres and did not think college was necessary. This student was a genius, but has a reading disorder. Yet chose to help himself, and allow the widower to help him with his studies till he got a 1540 for his SAT and got himself a scholarship. All because he wanted a future that does not involve selling tyres.

The widower also helped a little girl to read better, in which she taught her younger brother to read while babysitting. There was a bright young boy who was great in math, but had Dislexia so he couldn't read. The widower was not equipped to help him, but he searched hard to look for someone who was. The tutors he found were not willing because of the neighborhood the reading room was in. But he finally found someone who would.

In the end, the robber who got the job as the security guard gained the trust of the widower, who handed him over the reading room to manage, the little girl and boy learned how to read fluently, the high school student got a scholarship to college, and many more got themselves a job at the reading room which indicated the start of a new beginning. The reading room gave them hope. Yes, it may not have made a difference to the whole community, just like how we may not be able to save/help the world, but just like it did to the lives of these few people, we can make a difference in little.

Taking baby steps

2010-04-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

Something struck me this afternoon when i was taking a nap. This morning we had an Easter sunrise service in BU central park, instead of the usual church service. And little Caelynn was there, enjoying herself, walking around, and feeding her hands to the dogs. She would walk a few steps, then reach her hand above her head and attempt to hold someone's hand for support and assurance. Eddy mentioned later on that it reminded Him of God loving and watching over him on his life journey, just as he was there, fully prepared to allow Caelynn to grab his finger whenever she reached out her hand. And through this, how much you love a child not of your own blood and prepared to help her when she needs it, what more your heavenly Father will do that and even more for you.

It just struck me of how the little little things in life Eddy sees that encourages him, reminds and teaches him of God, and even how he finds joy in the little things and situations that people usually see as nothing more than a moment in life. And this really reminded me of... me. I remember that the little details in life always did and still do remind me of God and brings me cheer. I always felt i have this little whisper in me, something that speaks to me, connects me, cautions me, answers me, shows me... Till now, sometimes i still don't know how to use it, or in better words, to express it. Yet at this point of time, i'm starting to numb it and harden myself. Like what people say, you can let situations bring you down, or strengthen you up. With each bad situation, i chose to let it harden me, rather than making me stronger. I guess i start to get tired of standing up again after each fall, convincing myself or forcing myself to get up and try again straight away, rather than letting me heal, savor God and give time to learn and understand. Till everything starts becoming hypocritical, unreal, and i start to doubt. It is true what people say that life feels empty without God. It is. I feel the emptiness. But i'm not ready to get up yet.

I'm not giving up on christianity, not life, because no doubt God is real. I just don't know how to embrace it yet.

A freckle on life's complexion. That won't do.

2010-03-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm a very detailed person. The little little things matter and bother me. When i was in school, i use to tear pages off my brown exercise book just because the first word i wrote didn't look nice. So i ended up with most of my books being half the thickness than it's suppose to be. Yes, that's how much it matters. Sometimes, it isn't a good thing.

P.S I love you

2010-03-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

It's such a beautiful and sad story.

Tired

2010-02-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

I'm running out of strength
I'm running out of smiles
I'm running out of hope
Everything i believed in, now i doubt
I shall remain silent

The spiky head Philipino that'll blow your socks off

2010-01-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

Name: Ryan Confiredo
Competition: So You Think You Can Dance, Season 1
Dance: Break dance
Signature move: The head spin, on his gelled stiff spiky hair
Current dance crew: Quest

He is really good :) *double thumbs and toes up*

The signature head spin

I'm guessing he must be really good to be doing an elbow stand

I can't wait to find a new dance studio so I can start dancing again. My dance class ended cos lack of students. So hopefully I can find one that i'll like soon :) I miss dancing.

Controversy turned destructive

2010-01-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

“Hell is a world gone mad where we do not understand our neighbours; where politicians can declare crusades and holy wars against an idea…

“The way out of hell is love. Love is the recognition of the Other; the acknowledgement that the person before us is a fellow human being whose life is an abundant store of emotions, feelings, memories of hope and loss, tears, smiles, laughter. Love is the prerequisite of communication, even when that communication is difficult and one is not always understood. But love dictates that we need to understand, or at least make the effort to understand; and not to demonise, to scapegoat, to sully, to abuse. Love is the thing that stops the finger as it presses on the trigger; it is the thing that stills the hand before it reaches for the knife.” – “Qu’ran and Cricket”

Dr Farish A. Noor wrote that in 2007 when he visited Holland after Theo Van Gogh, the controversial Dutch director, was killed in broad daylight in a busy street in Amsterdam by a young Muslim.

The circumstances that inspired those words are different today… but the sentiment is the same.

The Malaysian Insider - Joan Lau

Start of something new

2010-01-06T18:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, i am approximately 6 days late to blogging a new year post, but Wow. The year has past so fast, and now it's a new year. I should learn from the Malays by first apologizing to everyone i've offended and hurt. The past year has been eventful, full of new beginnings and endings, once in lifetime chances and adventures. Right this moment a year ago, i was stuck in Tasik Chini, crying peoples' ears off, deprived of vehicles and shopping malls, and eating burgers like there was no tomorrow. Living in a jungle, swimming in a brown lake being fully covered with clothes and sport shoes, and winning a marching competition with my fellow team mates. Using an actual M16 gun was probably one of the best moments, followed by a 12-days trip to China, with my sister being the only person i knew then. Applying for a scholarship to UK, and meeting some of the greatest and sweetest people from the tip to toe of the country... The first time feeling most at home with a bunch of nicest, and crazy yet fun people i barely knew, besides their lame jokes. Being scrapped on my back with a soup spoon in a foreign country and co-choreographing a dance i never knew i could, plus turning 18 and legal to drink and enter 18Sg movies. Being part of another life fellowship, and meeting the boyfriend's family... They were pretty nice people. Getting enrolled in college, singing on stage, failing and finally passed my driving, and having my first pork burger from McDonald's China! Choices to make and embarrassing moments. It was a challenging and growing year, with a lot of hard learning. By God's grace I survived.

The new year wasn't great to start with. With stress, doubts, frustrating moments and insecurities. The best thing for the transition from 2009 to 2010 would be thanking God before the countdown, remembering of His grace and goodness, and reminding self for Him to be my vision for the new year. Plus a hike to Broga hill shows it'll continue to be an eventful year (i certainly hope so!). Yup, 18 going on 19 this year. Still young but hopeful for the future. The years definitely passes fast. It was sweet 16, and now slowly going into adulthood. If i could make it up the peak of Broga (and get down) since i'm terrified of heights, i believe that i'll be able to make it through the coming years, by God's grace. Yup, indeed still long way to go. No resolutions for the new year, but i really hope to be able to take one day at a time, and enjoy each moment. That i will not one day look back, and realize i've wasted my life. And hopefully, the best things will come when it's unexpected :)

Exams start in 4 days, and i'm too lazy to calculate the minutes and seconds so we shall skip that part. So ermmm... How to enjoy exams and the stressful studying? Alamak *smacks forehead*

*hums Raindrops keep falling on my head, pitter patter pitter patter*

Take me away

2010-01-06T00:41:00.000-08:00

Bungee jumping, sky diving, cliff diving... Anything that'll take me away and keep me sane.

There's a place that I go
But nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home

And there's no more lies
In the darkness, there's light
And nobody cries
There's only butterflies

Take me away
A secret place
A sweet escape
Take me away

Pocket full of sunshine
Natasha Bedingfield

Take me away.

I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing

2010-01-05T13:49:00.000-08:00

I'm just reminded of my time spending with God. Yesterday Ed mentioned about the word "friends", especially God as our friend. It reminded me how relationships are with friends, God being my friend. One thing I love most is sitting on the floor alone, next to my bed, with the room door closed, and just talking to God, literately, with my voice. I love how beautiful conversations like these can be, when there are no pretenses; no striving; no defensiveness... I can just tell Him everything, what I'm feeling, what I'm going through, my fears, disagreements, what I love and dislike, how situations are. Because no sides are taken, there are no worries whether I am hurting someone's feelings by speaking out my own; no gossips; no judgments... Because He knows it all, and sees it as it is. Just a few days ago we went hiking to Broga hill. While I was standing at the peak and looking down on everything, it suddenly came to me that God, who created all this, how specific and detailed He is. How when Dolly mentioned Jude, while working on the picture on the front cover of the chronicles, was so detailed in doing it, every single detail was there in it's magnified condition. Yet after returning it to it's original state, like how you look at the chronicles now, you don't actually see the details that are there because you've zoomed out from it. But nevertheless, the details ARE there. When I looked down on everything from the peak, i see clumps of green and yellow, which I assume are trees and paddy wheat. Then I zoom in on one of the clumps of yellow, and I see paddy wheat. Further zooming in on the paddy wheat, and I see every single grain, in it's detail. Each dent, each scratch, each hair. Zooming in for the last time and I see each cell and molecule in a single grain. It's amazing how God can take care and take account of every single little detail. And if He knows every detail of a single wheat, what will He not know about me. Many times I strive to please God that I forget how honest I can be with Him with every part of my life. That I can tell Him what I feel and think. When most times I can't find words to express, I know that He knows what I mean. It's beautiful to know that there is someone so close to my heart, that pure honesty is allowed.

I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
How can I keep from singing
Chris Tomlin

Quotes quotes and more quotes!

2010-01-05T01:13:00.000-08:00

I absolutely lurve this!

" college not important lah! you think Jimmy Choo went to college ah?" jo : " Jimmy Choo was a cobbler!! and one day God decided to help him in his career and he bacame a famous shoe designer"

By, Wu TriXha

Lightning in an open field

2010-01-05T00:54:00.000-08:00

The thing about letting your guard down and being yourself is risking being disliked. But that's when you become family.

God, please let us pull through this together.

Welcome to life wave

2009-12-31T12:56:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how status-minded the world is nowadays. How fashionable you are; how successful you are; how much big bucks you earn/can earn in the future; how sociable or how popular you are; how many people you can please and amaze, or how many people will aspire to be you. But what do you get when it's all over?

Afterall, it's just... People.

But this is life, this is reality.

Guess what, i don't care if i don't please you. So please leave me alone.

Ello the smello

2009-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

I learnt something from my mum not too long ago. It helped me a lot dealing with stress. When you have a lot of work to do or things that you find it hard to find solutions to, "don't be stressed", "chill", "it's not the end of the world" or "take it easy" doesn't mean taking it lightly or not bothering about your work = no stress. But it basically means do it one by one, because it'll eventually be done and come to past if you just do something, rather than making yourself stressed over it. It's usually us who make ourselves stressed, or if people are making you stressed, the stress that they give won't bother you if you are not willing to let yourself be affected by that stress, but rather do something about it, and learn to enjoy what you are supposed to do. Don't keep thinking about how stressed you are, how much more there is to do, but just do it. Positive thinking + action = efficiency. Yeah, this really helps me when i feel i'm going crazy.

El, really hope that you're okay and things are going better for you as the days pass. Be keeping you in prayer. Hang in there and everything will be alright :)

<3 you heaps
P/s You look like a Malay here. hehe

I miss you, crazy girl!

Flying, literally

2009-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

At this moment, i suddenly feel that I can't wait to leave for China.

Heal the world

2009-11-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

We produce a lot of trash that biodegrades slowly, and too much of it ends up in the ocean. Out at sea, plastic suffocates sea turtles and choke birds, which look at the bits of floating gunk as food.

These two pictures break my heart. I hope it breaks yours too.

Deformed sea turtle with a bottle ring trapped around it

Dead seabird who mistook plastic for food

We might not be able to save the world. But the little that we can do, lets try to do it.

Oh yeah, this video is cute.
Title: How to get up and get ready for work in 5 minutes. Plus breakfast.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qin4UptOEsI

T.G.I.F

2009-11-27T01:17:00.000-08:00

Ok mel, there are 3 things you really NEED to remember:

1. Be cheerful
2. Smile :)
3. BE NICE

Have a happy Friday!

The (not Harry) potter and the clay

2009-11-21T00:42:00.000-08:00

Being molded: it's a love-hate relationship

Lord please help me to not resist being taught. And help me to grow and hold on as i seek you.

*Note to self: I love experiencing the Lord.

This is real, this is me

2009-11-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

With all the things that have been happening for the past few years, I do believe that God is allowing me to experience things that are real so that I will be able to use it to help and encourage people in the future. Being a child, I always believed that the future installs so much for me, and that I will be able to do all things because God is there. I've shared with some people that, the thing that keeps my faith going is the hope that tomorrow will be better than today. That life wouldn't be just life. I never thought of earning big bucks, or being the top person in something. I only wanted to grow up doing the things that i like and have a passion for. But my greatest dream was to hear from God, see Him and serve him everyday of my life. This was my biggest dream. And i really looked forward to it. But growing up wasn't really easy, especially coming to the transition from being a teenager to soon, an adult. Things start to get complicating, and reality really kicks in. And guess what, reality is harsh. No longer can you only want to do your own thing, but as i start to understand things, well, it comes with responsibility, and "life officially starts". When i talk to people, i guess the only thing they can tell me is "well, this is reality. It's time to grow up". I've started to loose my goal and focus. And don't know where to find God in all these that's going on, and how is God in the picture. I'd think "God i thought my dream is something that will bless You. Then why does it seem like You're not wanting to make it happen?". Even on Friday, when Jess Parker spoke about breaking free in church. I was quite reluctant to go cos i felt like it's just another program. I'm just going to go, have a few things that hit me, and the next day it'll be like i'll forget everything. But He mentioned something about night terror, which really struck me cos i've had it for the past few years, which for a while it was really bad and i had it for almost everyday in a row, and to a point, 3 times in one night itself. I ended up not being able to sleep and literally had a phobia of going to bed. I'd make myself super tired so would sleep well that night. I couldn't find anyone who have had the same experience as i did and really didn't know what to do. I remember praying every night before i slept, and yet it still happened every night. Called upon Jesus when it happened, and yet it still continued. I think at that point, i really lost my faith. I thought "God i thought You said You'd save me when i call You, but why didn't You?". But it was encouraging to find people that do go through the same thing as i did. I know it's not merely sleep paralysis (which many people have been telling me that it is) cos I have weird dreams before it happens and sometimes I hear somebody whispering in my ear when it happens. I use to think it's better not to question, cos it's only going to make me question God and make me go further away from Him. Till some time ago I happened to talk to Simon and he mentioned that it's ok to question God, I don't think He is intimidated by our questions. Then only i realized that what made me drift away was me not wanting to question God, and in the end i only end up having no answers and giving up my walk. Nowadays in church they always mention God wanting to restore and remind those who had a dream and kind of forgot or lost sight of it. I didn't think it was for me. But i think God has been starting to remind me of things and start to let me see the purpose things that have happened. Yes, I'm still looking for answers. And i hope to find them.

Hmm... This post seems holy. Hehe. Guess i'm not really used to being "holy" anymore. But i'm glad i'm posting it up. It's going to be a good reminder.

Courage

2009-11-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

It's so encouraging when you have a question that is so subjective, that people cannot give you an answer to that will keep your faith going, yet a simple answer you find in the Word of God brings reassurance and courage that rises above a thousand words people give.
I am encouraged :)

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

Prince Edward Phillipe Renaldo
Princess Dairies 1

The yellow umbrella on a rainy day

2009-11-08T02:41:00.000-08:00

Don't people look so pretty when they smile?

It never fails to make my day :)

Banananana breathe nananana

2009-11-08T02:39:00.000-08:00

Oh! I've just discovered this when I went to this Japanese RM5 shop yesterday. Or maybe i'm just jakun.

You've seen Tupperware specially meant for salads, sandwiches, even butter.

... ...

But for bananas'!?

Size: Able to fit up to 2 bananas. Or one super huge banana.

No kidding. This container even has holes for ventilation.

Rise and shine

2009-10-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

This morning when i woke up, i realized that it's so good to wake up knowing that i have:
1. God
2. A family
3. A few good and close friends, and a good boyfriend
4. Physical things by my bed that reminds me of being happy when i wake up
4. Fresh flowers by my bed :)

toodles!
Current location: KBU International

Just for laughs

2009-10-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been this tired?

The october week

2009-10-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

Ahh... Haven't been blogging for some time now because i don't have internet at home anymore, now that El has gone back to Semenyih and left me all alooonnneeee... I miss you, internet... Hehe. I miss you too El :p It still kills me when you leave every sunday :( ish dramanya. But it's true. You better love me tons more after this post. Hehe.

I've been quite busy this week cos my Moral group assignment is almost due and we're supposed to hand in a first and second draft, before the final set, to count for our final score. So have been completing it in between classes, locking myself (and my groupmates) in the computer lab, and sticking my face in front of the laptop when i get home. So, first draft is finally done, now waiting to complete the second draft by monday/tuesday, then hand in the final set on thursday. Plus work for other subjects and tuition in between. So yeah, been pretty exhausted at the end of this week and pretty thankful for the weekend. But the good part is, i finally sign up to use the college's computer lab, which has access to the internet :) Didn't need to, till now. So it's good that i can make use of what i'm paying for (well, what my dad pays for). But of course, no access to facebook and msn. Haven't tried out other websites yet.

Internal exams are coming in a matter of 3 weeks *bulging eyes*. I better start motivating myself to start studying and plan a schedule before it's too late :)

And i can't wait till December for my China trip with El for a whole 2 weeks. Gosh, Leen, i'm going be stuck with you for 2 whole weeks. It's going to be awesome! muahaha x) What can i say, can't live with you, can't live without you. Hehe kidding. You know i love you lol.

My classmates bought me a slice of my favourite cake today for my early birthday celebration. Chocolate indulgence! I'm so touched, and still am. I've got awesome classmates :) I think 4 out of 11 of them are born in October. Happy early and belated birthday guys!
Somehow i don't really feel excited about my birthday this year. Seems like it's going to be just another ordinary day. But still, thank God for giving me a chance to experience life. It's been great, tough sometimes, and mostly very much WEIRD. Am i seriously giving my birthday speech now? And it's not even my birthday yet. I must be sleepy, as usual :p

Selamat malam Malaysia!
p/s: happy deepavali to all those celebrating!

=)

2009-09-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying my holidays :) It's fruitfuuulllllll... And it's ending soon. Please don't enddd! I've not finished Chem work. Hehe...

Two is better than one

2009-09-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving

Boys like girls ft. Taylor Swift
Love Drunk

This song is stuck to my head, thanks to Sarah.
The harmonizing is really good, especially when you hear it in a huge, empty room. I think probably cos i heard it in JC church room the first time. Hehe...
But the part "Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you" sounds sad.

Sweet goodbye to culinary arts

2009-09-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

I was bored and hungry at home, so decided to bake muffins that I previously wanted to bake but was lazy to do so. I got the measurements from the internet and they weren't exactly accurate (like 1 cup etc), and I ran out of paper cups, so I decided to bake it into a cake instead.

"Muffin-cake" and apple sauce

Presentation is essential

It ended up looking pretty good. Or so I thought... Then I cut it open.
1. "Okay, it kind of looks like bread".
2. Then "okay, maybe i should try it first".
3. Then, "hmm... it tastes quite ok *satisfied*".
4. After a few bites, "it tastes horrible."

The icing on top, I got quite a few bad comments from my mum.
1. From " okay, not bad".
2. To "why is the bottom so salty ya? What did you put? It tastes so funny. Like something is wrong."

So what went wrong?
1. Too salty.
2. Looks and tastes like bread.
3. It gives that weird and unpleasant taste to the tongue.

Now I know...
From what I found out from Eileen, I put too much baking soda. 1 teaspoon instead of 1 pinch. Aiya, the recipe says 1 teaspoon mah! I shall not be so technical and "blindly obedient" anymore.

So... MISSION FAILED. Mampus aku... Anyone care to be bandaraya?

Dare you to move

2009-09-03T19:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Dare you to move
Switchfoot
A walk to remember

Kiri means right, kanan means left?

2009-08-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

I just found out how slow my brain can be. Well, i always knew... But now I REALLY know.

1. I find it so hard to understand Dative covalent bond. And when I did, i forgot it in a matter of 3 minutes.

2. I know the formulas they have in Physics, but i never come around knowing how to use them.

3. It takes me 2 minutes to differentiate kiri and kanan.

4. The day after exams, I forget everything I've revised.

5. My hand-leg-eye coordination, apparently does not coordinate. I know this as a matter of fact because of Left-for-dead, and... driving.

Bryan Wong

2009-08-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

Starting off from being super quiet

To falling asleep and writing numbers, instead of Malay words

To smiling, then laughing like it's nobody's business

To driving me crazy because you can't stop talking, fidgeting and bugging me

NOW

You no longer sleep

But you still dream

Penjodoh bilangan

Oh yeah, i got an A for my math test. I'm happy :) Thanks God!

Silence, the best policy?

2009-08-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

I shall be silent. Maybe it's best not to care so much.

"Forever" is a dream

2009-08-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm so afraid
Will it last?
:(

More than life

2009-08-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

"It is so easy to think that the world revolves around you, but all you have to do is stare up at the sky to realize it isn't that way at all."

Jodi Picoult
My Sister's Keeper

Some things are more than just life. It just takes a moment to see it.

Scream

2009-08-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

The day the door is closed
The echoes fill your soul
They won't say which way to go
Just trust your heart

To find what you're here for
Open another door
I'm not sure anymore
It's just so hard

The voices in my head
Tell me they know best
Got me on the edge
They're pushing, pushing, they're pushing

I know they got a plan
While the ball is in my hands
This time it's man to man
I'm dropping, fighting
It's time to

Whole world is upside down
It's spinning faster
What do I do now

I don't know where to go
What is the right team
I want my own thing
So bad I'm going to scream
I can't choose
So confused
What does it all mean?
I want my own dream
So bad I'm going to scream

I'm kicking down the walls
I've got to make them fall
Just break through them all
I'm pushing, crashing
I'm going to fight to find myself
Me and no one else
Which way I get down
Searching, searching
Can't find a road that I should take
Tomorrow left us
Like nothing works without you

Yeah, the clock is running down
Hear the crowd getting loud
I'm consumed by the sound
Is it hurt? Is it love?
Can the music ever be enough?
Got to work it out.
You can do it.

Scream
Zac Efron . High School Musical 3

Better to consider opportunities now than in 10 years when life may limit your choices.
... trust one instincts, and that takes courage.
Ms. Darbus

Enough is enough

2009-07-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

I'm so stressed. It's like a whole pile of stress piling on top of me. It's endless. Can you all just make life easier for me, instead of demanding so much from me? As if my name is Patience and life is just so good that I can just live to fulfill your wishes. I want to rip my hair out.

Yes, i wish i were Mother Teresa.

Buddies sick

2009-07-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

Where are you guys!? I miss you all :(

1 year 5 months

2009-07-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

Warning: This particular person shall not be named, as to maintain macho-ness.

Yesterday was our 1 year and 5 months of being together, which was at first mistaken to be 1 and 1/2 years *ahem ahem*. Hee hee. Nevertheless, the one who shall not be named was so sweet to get me a cake, which i've been whining endlessly for it every time we see it in the cake shop.

Photos of some people who were getting green eyes for me taking photos of the cake, instead of them. They are as follow:

Your MAJESTY, the queen of Pelangi Unit 02

Your highness, PRINCESS of Pelangi Unit 02

Mum:" Wah, take photo of the cake and don't want to take photo of my RM20+ chocolate!" So, the chocolate deserves a royal shot.

Oh! I'll be watching the one who shall not be named tonight. Ron Weasley, I'm coming :)

Lastly, a glimpse of the one who shall not be named in disguise

Different is... wrong?

2009-07-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you

Why?

After all, difference is the thing that makes us special.

Cravings

2009-07-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

I just found out that STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. No wonder people tend to go for dessert when they're stressed, especially females :)

*craving for chocolate cake*

College

2009-07-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was first day of college and it started of with the briefing and all. I was pretty impressed with the amount who signed up for the July intake, which were about 150 students or so (if my eyesight did not fail me). Till they called us out to join our course coordinators for a more specific briefing on our courses.

Coordinator:" School of business"
Response: A whole bunch of people left.

Coordinator:" School of design"
Response: A bigger bunch of people left.

Coordinator: "The rest is A levels is it?"

10. The amount of students taking A levels, both science and arts, is 10. No kidding.

So today we've finally me up with our lectures, got our timetables and some idea of what we'll be studying for the next one and a half year. I was so happy to bid goodbye to all the add math and chem and burn the books, and now I'm opening the gates to doomsday again. The math lecturer gave us a few math questions. And i didn't know how to answer a single one. NOT EVEN A SINGLE ONE. Serious OMG. I'm so dead. Hold that thought. Did i mention July intake students are geniuses? They are mostly straight As' students, waiting for their JPA scholarship. Need to start studying way ahead. And math is supposedly like the add math we study in secondary school. And i can't even do add math. At least I'm only doing 3 subjects, physics, chemistry and math. So i still have breaks in between classes and can go home :) . It's times like these that i truly appreciate studying close to home. I passed by the art room yesterday and wished i were there instead. Will really need to learn to enjoy what I'm studying *knock all artsy thoughts from my head through my ear like what we see in cartoons*. Looking forward to physics class though. My physics lecturer looks like some shaolin soccer guy and reminds me of Philip Ong (the singaporean), in his "Back to school" outfit. Hee hee. Today he explained a whole physics theory using one word, e.g hot. Very analytical and precise. And he likes to say "uh huh" after every sentence :) . Really looking forward to learning more from him.

Classes start tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be a good one! :)

And i'm still coughing till i cry.

Camerons

2009-07-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

Ed and I went to Cameron highlands yesterday. We left PJ at 7:40am, got there, ate, did some shopping and sight seeing, and left at around 1:30pm. Worship practice was at 4:15pm and Ed was driving like a mad man to reach back on time. I'm so sorry! I think i see multiple samans' coming :( . And tons of white hair. Thank you bu, it was really sweet of you to bring me there *grateful and touched*. It was a good trip :)

The crazy peeps

Excited to eat :D

It's as big as my face!

You've never fully experienced Camerons till you handpick your own strawberries

Why orange? It matches his shirt :)

All trimmed and arranged by the sweet dude himself. So pretty :)

Learning to laugh at myself

2009-07-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

El and I decided to go shopping on Friday and i wanted to get a dress i previously saw in Cats Whiskers, Perdana Damansara branch. So El proposed that we go to Bangsar, as there is one there, and there will be other boutiques that we could shop in. But they didn't have the dress i wanted. As usual, stubborn me, was so focused on what i wanted, wouldn't get anything else besides that. And so, after shopping in Bangsar, El was so nice to drive back to the Perdana branch so that i could get my dress. I found the dress, tried it, and put it aside to go look around for a while more. While looking, El was sitting down and schrutinizing the dresses we picked. She was looking at the one i chose and suddenly started laughing and signed me to look at where she was looking. My head was going "Shux. Is something wrong with the dress? No no no..."

And then i saw...

MATERNITY! For pregnant mums'! Apparently, they put it at the maternity section and i didn't notice that. But but but they put it together with the other "non-maternity" clothes the first time i saw it. No wonder the shopkeeper was asking me weirdly whether i wanted it after i tried it. Now i know why! Well, i liked it too much to bother about the tag. Maybe i can still wear it next time when i get married and pregnant. For now, i shall just laugh at myself before other people find out about this and start laughing. HAHAHA :)

Maternity dress

Dreamland

2009-07-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's my last week of freedom days so was really hoping to go for a trip somewhere before i start college. But i guess tak jadi *bummed*. Well, at least i have Penang to look forward to during the middle of this month. I should be grateful already. Thank God for Penang. I shall indulge myself in pretty photos like these instead :) *daydream*

De Racket speaks

2009-06-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, Eileen her highness herself made me blog this *ahem ahem*, so i shall do as told :)

POLL
Topic: Is Eileen fat?
a. Duh
b. NO!
c. Crazy ah!?
d. A little

Eileen:" Mel, go blog (jokingly of course). So that when people see me, they'll refrain me from eating too much." People, when you see Eileen, shove food down her mouth! DENG EILEEN, even a cat eats more than you do! So you better start eating like a normal person, or I'll make you gain 20kgs and haunt you in your sleep. DO YOU HEAR ME!? I mean, read me *pai seh*. Hee hee.

Your highness. All hail! :D

Thankful

2009-06-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

Ancient Persian Saying

Birthday boy

2009-06-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday sleepy head
Happy birthday to you

Presenting sleepy head

Hee hee. Please don't kill me! It was Ed's birthday yesterday and just wanted to say thank you for all that you do. We drive each other crazy sometimes but at the end of the day, i know that you put up with me alot and put a lot of effort in making things work between us. I couldn't be more blessed to have you around. Have a blessed year ahead :)

Smile

2009-06-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

A smile costs nothing but gives much.

It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it.
Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Author Unknown

In Christ Alone

2009-06-21T15:43:00.000-07:00

In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

Here I come

2009-06-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

Melly made it!

Melly made it!

Melly made it!

*Various loud instruments crashing together dramatically and rather unprofessionally*

Okay, I just can't resist saying it ONE more time. I MADE IT! Whooppieee... Well, it's not like I made it to the top of Mount Everest or anything, but I made it to college. Hee hee. I managed to apply to KBU Kolej Bandar Utama today, as it is the open day for the college, and got the offer letter on the spot. So in 2 weeks time, I will be far from my honeymoon days, mouldy hair, and starting to kick butt. I really want to do well, all thanks to the handsome boy's face on the College's newsletter saying he made it to Oxford. KBU -> OXFORD. Solid... I think the thing I like most about the College is the field "like those pretty big ones with huge autumn-looking trees that make it look like those in Western countries", and Centrepoint next to the campus! McDonalds, here I come! Hehe. Okay, enough with the food. Anyways, I'm really glad in making it into college. It's another turning point in life, and I really hope to enjoy every minute of it while it lasts :) . But mostly, thank you God. I wouldn't have made it without You.

Kolej Bandar Utama

No, this is not me. Neither is it the "handsome boy from Oxford". Well, at least I don't think it is.
P/s: Look out for the dramatic storm-sky.

The "random" of the day
Question: What "tree" has people staying in it?
Answer: Country
By Eddy Yew
The original from The Chee sisters

Fuming

2009-06-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

How well do you actually know me before you say those things? How well do you know my spiritual life?

Bubblegum shake

2009-06-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

My mum made us a protein shake, which actually helps replenish all the nutrients we lack. I repeat, ALL. So it comes in 5 different flavors - vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, tropical fruits and cappuccino. Thus, we opted for strawberry. Nice huh... BUT... It tasted a little weird and my mum decided to add dragon fruit to it. AND THUS... It ended up tasting like bubblegum. And it's not very pleasant. I don't think I'll enjoy eating bubblegum after this. Hmm... Sigh. I am thankful for the protein shake though. Thank You God for protein shakes! :D

On bended knees, still

2009-06-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

You're speaking, and I'm listening. I hear Your assurance. I know and am thankful that I can trust and lean on You. And it'll be okay. You're right here, and that's all I need.

I'm excited to know what You have installed.

On bended knees

2009-06-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

Lord, I need You... Would You come to save me, again... :(

Mengejar HadirMu

2009-06-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

I believe that God has been reminding me and constantly prompting me saying "Mel, remember me. I'm here. And I miss you". Its really foolish of me to think I'm better off without God. Without the striving, the endless trying, the questions without answers... Trust me when I say, its not any better. But God is faithful and has constantly reminding me of how He brought me through the past and has been there. Sometimes it got too overwhelming that I couldn't see. But thank God that He is teaching me and reminding me of His goodness, especially through people, when they speak of Him and even just now, when I was reading someone's blog. It reminded me of the simplicity and joy of serving, loving and walking with Him. And I miss that. I miss being where You are.

Lord, I just want to lift everything to you. My dreams, desires, my Isaacs', my security, every step i take and every decision, my life and my all. May You use it for Your glory.

Its not about me, but about You. Help me not to be self-centered, but to keep my eyes on You.

Mengejar hadirMu

Dekat padaMu itu rinduku
Setiap kataku Kau pun menunggu
Tak kusangka kutemukan satu kasih yang abadi
Kini kudatang dan kubawa hidupku

Memandang wajahMu
Mengikuti kebaikanMu
Mengejar hadirMu
dalam hidupku

Membawa sembahku
Menyatakan kebesaranMu
Mengejar hadirMu
dalam hidupku

Essential needs

2009-06-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, I suck... I think I need to go for communication lessons... Cos I really suck at it. And in so many other aspects too... I need many lessons... *Sob sob*

Ice-cream maniac

2009-06-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

*drum roll*

... ...

Ta daa!!!

Okay, I've just had my ever-so-indulging McDonald's strawberry sundae! It's the 3rd time I'm having ice-cream this week, considering the bucket of ice-cream from Baskin Robbins on Monday and another bucket from Tesco on Friday. Well, good thing i had Ed to share them with me. Hehe. Ow man... My two-month-old belly is going to turn to three months very soon. Tee hee hee. I should really learn to control my appetite. All the hard work from jogging and the sore legs after that has gone to waste :p

Kris Allen vs. Adam Lambert

2009-06-07T00:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, I still like Kris' version of No Boundaries better than Adam's. Maybe not as oumph as Adam's version, it somehow sounds more genuine to me. Though he didn't sing it very well during the finale performance as due to the key being too high for him. But still... Adam is definitely better when it comes to vocals and originality. But i guess I'm not very crazy over every song ending with the screams. A bit predictable and to an extent quite used to it till it doesn't feel so oumph anymore. Okay, maybe it's just me. Anyways, back to the topic, yeah i still stick to Kris on No Boundaries. Nothing is going to shake me!

*Note: this is about the song preference, and not the winner.

Anyway

2009-06-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants something, may it be making a difference/ fighting cancer/ being someone's husband or wife/ being Oprah/ the feeling to be needed/ being respected/ something to believe in; even some to forgive, and some to forget... There is always a sense of hope in all of these. And when there is hope, there is always a risk of that not becoming a reality. And so some will give up, some even not bothering to pray anymore. Even as Christians, life doesn't always go smoothly. But sometimes all we need is faith. That we can make it, and we'll make it through. That what we want in life may not be what God wants for us. So we need to trust in him. I found this song very encouraging. So hopefully by sharing this, it can be an encouragement to others as well.

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
love them anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway, yeah,

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

By Martina McBride
Album: Waking up laughing

My best buddies

2009-06-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

I miss you guys a lot..

My family aka Lao bu . Da jie . Er jie

Jin May

Atuk Adam

Cucu Saba

A SMALL blessing

2009-06-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

My mum, a friend of hers, and I went to Ikea for breakfast this morning. It was 9:30a.m. and we rushed across the street from McDs, through the IKEA entrance, up the escalator, towards the counter AND....................

We didn't make it.

Apparently all the rushing took us 5 whole minutes and so free coffee jadi tak jadi. Anyways, we (dissapointedly) got our food, payed and proceeded to one of the tables. Once we reached our table, a teenage girl came over and said to my mum "hi aunty, do you want coffee? Someone gave me a voucher (which was the voucher for free coffee for Ikea members) but I don't drink coffee", in which my mum accepted. I was watching the girl as she happily raced off to join her other two friends who were waiting for her nearby. As she reached her friends, all 3 of them looked really happy and exchanged hi5s, then happily walked off. *Note: It was the 'good' happy look, and not the 'muahahaha' happy look. So yeah, i somehow feel blessed by this. Its like a little kindness goes a long way :)

And, yes, we finally got our one cup of coffee. Well, the just the cup actually. And milo :D

Dedicated to my daddy

2009-05-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

I've always thought of birthdays as being a time where we can put away the 'pai seh-ness' to tell someone how much we appreciate them and that them coming into this world has made a difference in our lives. AND SO... It was my dad's birthday yesterday and El and i were fortunate to be able to see him and spend some time with him after so long . He sprained his back and it was hard for him to stand up after sitting and even walking up and down a long flight of stairs. I was never really close to my dad since young and it just reminded me of how i use to be so close and attached to my mum instead of him. I remember when there was once where we were still living in our condo in Old Klang road where apparently my mum and i were at home, and for some reason which i can't remember, my dad came to pick me up. Being so sticky to my mum, i didn't want to leave her and was making so much noise and tantrum. In the end he had to carry me in the cradle form and just walk away from our unit entrance. At that time i kept kicking and making so much noise. I guess now that I'm older, I've tried putting myself in his shoes and i was really overwhelmed with hurt and sadness. I guess that was what he felt at that time, seeing 'hey, my small girl (which was what my parents use to call me, considering El is the big girl) is resenting me so much'. Growing up, i use to think why i didn't have my dad by me, like how other kids did. Then i realized he was always there. Due to how it was with our family, he couldn't be there physically with me. But thinking back, he was always there when i needed him. When i was being bullied in Rawang El i think you'd know, he'd come to pick us up. When I couldn't finish my school homework, he'd just sit there and help me do my colouring and all. He'd try to talk to me and even just replying my messages even when he's overseas. Always working so hard to give us the very best and be there for us. Even when he couldn't, He'd make sure that there was someone who was, who could help us. Yeah, i think that on the way i've learnt that its the little little things that people do for us, which so often we can't see, that really matters. So dad, even though i don't think you'd read this, I just want to let you know that I really appreciate all that you do, I love you and really miss you. And I'm really proud to have you as my dad :)

Have a very blessed year ahead!

*Pictures of the birthday celebration can be seen from Ello's blog. The younger sis is trying to take advantage of the older one's hardworking spirit to upload them. Hehe...