Start of something new

Yes, i am approximately 6 days late to blogging a new year post, but Wow. The year has past so fast, and now it's a new year. I should learn from the Malays by first apologizing to everyone i've offended and hurt. The past year has been eventful, full of new beginnings and endings, once in lifetime chances and adventures. Right this moment a year ago, i was stuck in Tasik Chini, crying peoples' ears off, deprived of vehicles and shopping malls, and eating burgers like there was no tomorrow. Living in a jungle, swimming in a brown lake being fully covered with clothes and sport shoes, and winning a marching competition with my fellow team mates. Using an actual M16 gun was probably one of the best moments, followed by a 12-days trip to China, with my sister being the only person i knew then. Applying for a scholarship to UK, and meeting some of the greatest and sweetest people from the tip to toe of the country... The first time feeling most at home with a bunch of nicest, and crazy yet fun people i barely knew, besides their lame jokes. Being scrapped on my back with a soup spoon in a foreign country and co-choreographing a dance i never knew i could, plus turning 18 and legal to drink and enter 18Sg movies. Being part of another life fellowship, and meeting the boyfriend's family... They were pretty nice people. Getting enrolled in college, singing on stage, failing and finally passed my driving, and having my first pork burger from McDonald's China! Choices to make and embarrassing moments. It was a challenging and growing year, with a lot of hard learning. By God's grace I survived.

The new year wasn't great to start with. With stress, doubts, frustrating moments and insecurities. The best thing for the transition from 2009 to 2010 would be thanking God before the countdown, remembering of His grace and goodness, and reminding self for Him to be my vision for the new year. Plus a hike to Broga hill shows it'll continue to be an eventful year (i certainly hope so!). Yup, 18 going on 19 this year. Still young but hopeful for the future. The years definitely passes fast. It was sweet 16, and now slowly going into adulthood. If i could make it up the peak of Broga (and get down) since i'm terrified of heights, i believe that i'll be able to make it through the coming years, by God's grace. Yup, indeed still long way to go. No resolutions for the new year, but i really hope to be able to take one day at a time, and enjoy each moment. That i will not one day look back, and realize i've wasted my life. And hopefully, the best things will come when it's unexpected :)

Exams start in 4 days, and i'm too lazy to calculate the minutes and seconds so we shall skip that part. So ermmm... How to enjoy exams and the stressful studying? Alamak *smacks forehead*

*hums Raindrops keep falling on my head, pitter patter pitter patter*

Take me away

Bungee jumping, sky diving, cliff diving... Anything that'll take me away and keep me sane.

There's a place that I go
But nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home

And there's no more lies
In the darkness, there's light
And nobody cries
There's only butterflies

Take me away
A secret place
A sweet escape
Take me away

Pocket full of sunshine
Natasha Bedingfield

Take me away.

I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing

I'm just reminded of my time spending with God. Yesterday Ed mentioned about the word "friends", especially God as our friend. It reminded me how relationships are with friends, God being my friend. One thing I love most is sitting on the floor alone, next to my bed, with the room door closed, and just talking to God, literately, with my voice. I love how beautiful conversations like these can be, when there are no pretenses; no striving; no defensiveness... I can just tell Him everything, what I'm feeling, what I'm going through, my fears, disagreements, what I love and dislike, how situations are. Because no sides are taken, there are no worries whether I am hurting someone's feelings by speaking out my own; no gossips; no judgments... Because He knows it all, and sees it as it is. Just a few days ago we went hiking to Broga hill. While I was standing at the peak and looking down on everything, it suddenly came to me that God, who created all this, how specific and detailed He is. How when Dolly mentioned Jude, while working on the picture on the front cover of the chronicles, was so detailed in doing it, every single detail was there in it's magnified condition. Yet after returning it to it's original state, like how you look at the chronicles now, you don't actually see the details that are there because you've zoomed out from it. But nevertheless, the details ARE there. When I looked down on everything from the peak, i see clumps of green and yellow, which I assume are trees and paddy wheat. Then I zoom in on one of the clumps of yellow, and I see paddy wheat. Further zooming in on the paddy wheat, and I see every single grain, in it's detail. Each dent, each scratch, each hair. Zooming in for the last time and I see each cell and molecule in a single grain. It's amazing how God can take care and take account of every single little detail. And if He knows every detail of a single wheat, what will He not know about me. Many times I strive to please God that I forget how honest I can be with Him with every part of my life. That I can tell Him what I feel and think. When most times I can't find words to express, I know that He knows what I mean. It's beautiful to know that there is someone so close to my heart, that pure honesty is allowed.

I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
How can I keep from singing
Chris Tomlin

Quotes quotes and more quotes!

I absolutely lurve this!

" college not important lah! you think Jimmy Choo went to college ah?" jo : " Jimmy Choo was a cobbler!! and one day God decided to help him in his career and he bacame a famous shoe designer"

By, Wu TriXha

Lightning in an open field

The thing about letting your guard down and being yourself is risking being disliked. But that's when you become family.

God, please let us pull through this together.

Welcome to life *wave*

It's amazing how status-minded the world is nowadays. How fashionable you are; how successful you are; how much big bucks you earn/can earn in the future; how sociable or how popular you are; how many people you can please and amaze, or how many people will aspire to be you. But what do you get when it's all over?

Afterall, it's just... People.

But this is life, this is reality.



Guess what, i don't care if i don't please you. So please leave me alone.

Ello the smello

I learnt something from my mum not too long ago. It helped me a lot dealing with stress. When you have a lot of work to do or things that you find it hard to find solutions to, "don't be stressed", "chill", "it's not the end of the world" or "take it easy" doesn't mean taking it lightly or not bothering about your work = no stress. But it basically means do it one by one, because it'll eventually be done and come to past if you just do something, rather than making yourself stressed over it. It's usually us who make ourselves stressed, or if people are making you stressed, the stress that they give won't bother you if you are not willing to let yourself be affected by that stress, but rather do something about it, and learn to enjoy what you are supposed to do. Don't keep thinking about how stressed you are, how much more there is to do, but just do it. Positive thinking + action = efficiency. Yeah, this really helps me when i feel i'm going crazy.

El, really hope that you're okay and things are going better for you as the days pass. Be keeping you in prayer. Hang in there and everything will be alright :)

<3 you heaps
P/s You look like a Malay here. hehe

I miss you, crazy girl!